anal . . .whaaaaaaaaaaat?

Yesterday I forayed into unknown territory.. there is nothing like being a mom to explore new sides of oneself. There i was , standing in the Target aisle searching for... dum dum dum , drumroll pleaaaaase: an ANAL thermometer!!!!!

 Now, I have been told by a nurse that this is indeed the most accurate reading for a baby with a fever, but.. really?.. truly? this poor little guy is not going to be happy if this is the first memory he remembers . . .

i would like to think that being a mom makes you an automatic ace on the health of your own child, but unfortunately, having a sick child has already taught me that I tend to lean towards the dramatic first.  "What is that rash? Is it septic? Why do his ears look so red, do his feet have a blue tinge to them?" All the semi-normal- baby- blotchies suddenly seem frightening and the next possible outbreak of scarlet fever seems moments from my doorstep. .

A good friend told me that children are JUST the beginning of learning how to pray.  Praying for the safety and the well being of my child has just turned into my second full-time job.

   All things considered, our little man is in the throes of his first cold, and already it breaks my heart to see him sniffing and sneezing his way through the hours. Its hard to watch him be so congested, being that he is still just a young lil' chap ...he looks up at me with a little furrowed brow and i cannot help but think he is saying : "Mommmmmmma, help me~!" so i plunge away with the nose-suctioner, crank up the humidifier,  and give him a couple of extra cuddles to get through the night, (and as you saw from my earlier post, "through the night" may mean approx 3 hours from now ;)

Someday, ...or 50 colds from now,.. ill look back at this and think  "Silly Hannah, that cold was just the beginning of a lifetime of worries..." So i better start memorizing : " Do not be anxious about anything but in prayer and supplication, bring your requests before God, and He shall supply all your needs.." cause no matter what we do, even as a mother, I cannot fix everything.

So little Jackson, try to get some rest, *your momma will have her eyes glued to the baby monitor , JUST in case.*

and so it begins . .

So I think its time, ....

"Time for what?", you say.

Time to start a blog of the comings and goings, joys and triumphs and every little piece of my life that I may forget someday...My Hubs likes to frequently remind me that I obsessively document my life through pictures.. and that our hard drive will most certainly crash one day.  . . I can't help that I have a need/ (ok, compulsion) to document the 'every day' ....can you blame me? The "everyday" is what makes life so extraordinary~!

As of yesterday, I have quit my current job of 'college student scratch board,' and have jointly made the decision with my Hubs to become a stay at home mom.  This new journey is one I have always looked forward to, and even now just realizing how much I should remember to send my mom once a week thank you cards for her previous: sleep deprivation, snot removal, and spit up maintenance 28 years ago.

I have already had a generous maternity leave to begin this new phase of life, and am familiar with the jealous feelings I have when I see new moms post on facebook " My little angel slept through the night again: I am sooooo refreshed~!!!!!"  (Ok, maybe  bitttt of an  overstatement, but could i really get arrested for beating a fellow mother senseless? "But officer, she said her baby SLept THrOuGh the NIGHTTTTTT... !!!""")

So here I am .. currently in a blue bathrobe that my Hubs bought me, probably not realizing JUST how much it would be worn once the newborn arrived.. Yesterday was my FIRST  time with a babysitter, so I could say goodbye to my old "work life" and now embrace this new change. ..

I have been blessed by an overwhelming response from people congratulating me, and for this i am grateful.. but DARE i look at the underbelly of some of these congratulations and peek into what people were REEEALLY thinking:

-"wow, your husband must be loaded!"  (we frequently roll around in one dollar bills to convince ourselves of this)

-"now she can burn off some of that baby fat" (dang, still not doing the crunches like i imagined, here's to flat abs 2015~!)

-"lucky girl gets to  sit around eating bon bons all day" (I prefer gummy Swedish Fish; a' thank you..)

"congrats" (to which there is usually added a pained look on their face that makes me feel like they might have gas..)

 and finally:

"I am so happy for you, it is a wonderful opportunity, and you won't regret it~!" (i have had many of these genuine responses and for that I am grateful)

So here is to my first day as an "official" stay at home mom. Already I have suctioned snot, ran up the stairs in a mad frenzy cause I heard a loud noise on the baby monitor that I assumed was my son choking: (Turns out it was an explosive poopie diaper)...and all before 8 am ~!

I promise to not be very entertaining.. but at least somewhat honest..

Here's to you motherhood!  Three cheers : HIP HIP HOORAY~!